It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
