it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
