So drunk, too bad you don't want this
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
