Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
