used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
