Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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