She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
