I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My pussy is not your playground.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
