dude i'm inner monologue high
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
