ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
