So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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