david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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