worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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