A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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