Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
