I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
