At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
