I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
