the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
