CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
