we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
