i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
