I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
