im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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