part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
