Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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