Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
