my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
