Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
