Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
