pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
