I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
