yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
