I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
