i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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