what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
