And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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