The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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