She went from zero to smokin in five shots
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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