I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to have your abortion
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
