i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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