I'm gonna have a badass scar
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
