where am i from again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
