Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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