Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
