Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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