Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
