sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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