after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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