video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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