becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
